Today

today i hate him
hate these 4 walls
closing in
hate it all
hate myself for believing in love
hate i wear rose colored sunglasses even on cloudy days
far too long
for far too many people
hate i came thru doors too soon
when i hadn't closed the others behind me
hate he is safe
death still comes
just more slowly
more painful
hate routine
hate going thru the motions
to hide true emotions
for them
mothers must make great sacrifices
wish mine had
so is she still my mother?
bored with this life
hate he never stimulates my mind
nor my body
today i just want to stay hidden
under green leaves
and hibiscus petals
fold these wings
that are still too wet
too delicate
retreat into a cocoon much too small for me now
i pray tomorrow i will catch a breeze