Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Another One So Soon

-for words in need of existance
-for phone calls...just because you wanted to say hello
-for singing so off key, but oh so cute "i just called to say...."
-for decorating for Christmas
-for finding great treasures to add to my home
-for Craig's List
-for hanging out with my brother
-for a lil sanity...i said a lil
-for life
-for prayer
-for my cousin getting out of intensive care
-for my brother walking away untouched from an accident he shouldn't of...thank you thank you!
-for your fingers in my hair
-for understanding my weakness and insecurities
-for quiet moments
-for teaching moments in your negativity...i am stronger than you think i am
-for bannana foster's icecream new favorite recipe

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Look What I Forgot....

looked at my calendar, sorry people

Happy Birthday to Amy

Happy Birthday to Eboni

Happy Birthday to Ms Jo

and Happy Thankgsiving to everyone!!

Soooo Much THANKS to GIVE N this life....clever huh lol

-for meeting such interesting people on this journey
-for laughs with my kids
-for good poetry
-for loving the skin i'm in
-for not obsessing over weight anymore, like i hear so many can take over your life
-for warm hugs on cold nights
-for my new sandals, yes i know its almost winter...but i get them cheaper in the off season lol
-for caramel apples...yum
-for my son's sense of humor having his mother bent over in laughter in the middle of a store
-for my family together on Thanksgiving...priceless
-for my daddy asking if i had both my feet left, 'cause i put both of them in the food i had
-for satisfied faces and satisfied bellies
-for my oldest daughter's boyfriend, he seems to calm her he is a comedian, and a nice guy...guess he is a'ight (as t said)
-for chivalry
-for dancing slowly in his arms in the middle of the store, and the horrified look of taylor when she saw us lol
-for out of sight out of mind
-for love
-for my grey ghost, the butterfly mobile is back!
-for my daughter's creativity
-for christmas ornament shopping and taylor's excitement
-for family, its so good, had to say it twice

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

For It All Is A Good Thing...

-for my 14 yr old realizing she didn't like the silly mental games her boyfriend was she broke up with him...she is a smart girl indeed
-for exploring new avenues in life, and loving the detours
-for great report cards
-for sharing in a grand celebration for 3 up and coming young gospel rappers
-for reconnection
-for tears of joy
-for you always showing up, even if it means lingering in the background (i always know u r there)
-for still smiling like a school girl when i see you
-for you saying my glasses were sexy...why thank you
-for changing my mind, and opting for jazz with jazzman...good choice
-for team practice...dang its been awhile, but we still groove well
-for my brother's long awaited screen time...he is so cute
-for my new computer desk
-for purging stuff and junk, so i can create a new, more peaceful beautiful environment for my family...for love
-for elbow to elbow game playing action....HAHA i won again!
-for your lol text messages

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Another Wednesday of Gratitude, though Everyday I AM

-for experiencing life through a poet's eyes
-for going forward when so many others said no, or added roadblocks
-for one incredible trip
-for looking people in the eye, and touching their hand...we all should do this more often...its honest
-for traveling grace, prayers, and well wishes....thank you thank you
-for my glasses
-for my babies....they are simply incredible
-for knowing she is okay
-for strong arms to hold alllllllll this
-for seeing i have a gift, and believing it finally
-for you creeping into my dreams, its safer there so yeah i understand
-for that "feeling" again
-for my daddy's laugh...he turned 64 saturday
-for my daddy being so proud of his babygirl...he tells me now
-for cheering with Taylor's friends @ football game...they think i'm cool lol
-for my mother's happy tears after reading my lil' book of poetry
-for text messages that make me laugh
-for Joss Stone's voice OMG!
-for realizing some people are exactly what they show you (though their words will swear they are not), but its okay...learning to love and admire at arm's length
-for books of encouragement and strength....i heart you
-for you calling just to hear my voice, in need of a poem...(we had some good times, huh?)
-for family for family for family for family for family for family for family
-for holding hands while making love
-for deep sweet kisses lasting a lifetime
-for still believing in yesterday
-for NeoSoul tonight....been missing

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Haiku...that's all

my choice is, of me
reaching deeply for sweet peace
now dance within love

Saturday, November 04, 2006

This Story Is Not Yet Over, But Just Beginning...

dragged B out once more into this beautiful city. of course, out to some mountain and natural setting...pick that over shopping any day. saw the petroglyphs, ancient drawings of the Pueblo people atop an inactive volcano...question...if inactive why the hell these rocks still feel very very VERY warm, while about 50/60 degrees outside? of course i climbed to the top, while B went half way then once again stated, 'shelle ya on your own'. lol...yep love my adventurous else to experience the beauty of this life right?
later that evening headed out to our second feature in town, Central Avenue Reading, that takes place at local coffee shop...serves very good chai by the way.
totally different crowd. average age around 55/60. very literary. very distinguished. read from their own published works. B and i realized we will have to revamp our show. no i say NEO, you say SOUL!! here lol... i wore my glasses, yes glasses! you know, trying to fit the part. though i did one of my performance pieces (more subdued of course), it was nice to do the rest of my set reading from my book. i was reading one of my more sensual pieces, when i realized i was coming across a certain erotic passage, started to panic a lil thinking damn these are my grandparents in here. sped up the piece a lil, lol, but also could see the elderly gentlemen perking up a bit LOL LOL. too funny. B did a very good set, in fact one of the best...something about not being rushed or in a heightened state ya know. He had those women remembering the old days. lol Ms Dale passed the basket around, church style....not bad at all plus sold more product.
i wished i could of stayed longer with these folks. most have led fascinating lives. so enriched even now, with such great stories to tell. i pray in my own older years i have just as many fascinating tales to tell to people along my path.
still whispering my thank you's into the universe.
hung out with more poets at a local bar. more great conversations, drinks, great laughs, good food (though they don't know what it means to eat wings!), and overall outstanding meeting of the minds.
poets are cool people....that is if you leave ego's (haven't i said that already lol) and open your mind to the moment.
said our goodbye's. damn. last night. B grabbed my hand as we walked through a tunnel to the car, and said "MichelleDesiree..." and i said "Brian Francis...," then together we said " we did it..."...yeah we did...yeah we did.
it was time to go though, we both were missing family something awful!
hit the road for home...home, hmm such a sweeter word these days...around 10am friday morning. snuck in the front door around a quarter to midnight. (no one, but Tarik knew i was coming home). nothing like loving arms around you...nothing like his arms.
my dad's birthday was in 15min. i was his present he said....awwwwww
my beautiful son come's running down the hall and leaps into my arms, kissing me repeatedly, holding me like i was a brand new xbox 360...and if you knew my was a strong hold.
taylor then runs and hugs me just crying her lil eyes out. wow they really made their mom feel good.
nothing as sweet as a family's love...sigh...home sweet home
does it get any better than this?...i guarantee it does
watch and see....

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Native Love, Poetry & Beer

Catching up on my blogging, so i have posted 2 others below besides this one...
Wednesday morning, B and I performed for two classes at the Native American Charter Academy (NACA). We knew it would be fun working with the kids, but didn't realize just how important this day would be for both of us.
The school is less than a year old, the student population 90% Native American, a place where they spirits can be nurtured and grow, where they can feel like the norm and not the outcast.
the students were so excited to see us. Their teacher, Ms. Emily, had been talking about slams, poetry, and even showed them a few clips of def poetry jam and Taylor Mali. Ms. Emily is a budding poet herself, but has never read on an open mic...ah but we took care of that soon enough. The first class was a group of 6th graders and a whole lot of fun. The boys were more outspoken, while the few females stayed quiet.
i could see their hesitation, so i tried much as possible to keep them involved. I made sure to let them know they have a voice, and how important it is for them to realize this fact. it had taken so long for me to find my own ya know.
B and I did a couple of pieces, then taught a mini writing workshop. they were very receptive and so eager to share. B brought them up to the front of the room like rock could just see them shining...and shine they did! The words these kids wrote were simply amazing. police problems, drugs, alcohol, being different, pleading for change....and they are 11/12 year olds. wow...very humbling. We gave each of them promo posters, which of course, they wanted autographed. they were the stars, not us.
grabbed a quick bite to eat at a Thai resteraunt, then returned for the second class...i wasn't ready for what was to come.
the kids 7th graders, just a yr or two older. B and i did the same format as before, but the outcome totally different. several topics were put on the board (they chose first or strongest memory), they picked one, then letters chosen, then 3 words for each letter-only had to choose 2 from each letter, then given about 10 minutes to write. one by one they got up there and just ripped my heart out. i felt the tears coming, tried desperately to hold them back, but no...and even some of the kids in class couldn't contain themselves. they spoke of losing their brother, their fathers, fathers who were killed or just left, of grandmother's, of the pain of just living, of a mother's love. it was heart wrenching, but it seemed...needed. wounds were opened, but the tears cleansed.
i read a piece about my grandmother and baking lemon cookies, almost couldn't get through it myself. miss her so. but i realize exposing myself like that, gave another the courage to read about her own grandmother. a very shy beauty, who needed her friend to hold her hand as she read. when the tears started, she moved closer to her strength and she held her as she read...we were all a mess by the time she finished. it was so moving. some of the students just couldn't stop crying...the dam had been opened. they had put a voice to some deep seeded pain, and this was probably the first time they have had the opportunity to deal with it.
a love circle was needed before the class was dismissed, just to make sure everyone would be okay...shoot was i?
the spirit was moving in there, it was moving....i pray they keep writing through the pain and just fly. it was hard leaving them, but we will be back and will stay in touch.
sigh...if i never lived another day, they made it all worth it in that small moment. poetry live and in living color.
does it get any better....probably not....well....
B and I rocked the hell out of the District Bar, our first full length feature. We performed 8 pieces. second set Desiree did the love set LOL, and you know she left honey on the mic, and the bees did come. lol. great reactions need i say more!! LOL. after us, was a qualifying slam for IWPS....DAMN could not believe the power on the of the best slams i have been to in a very long time. did a lot of networking, hung out with some more fantastic poets....but still could not get those babies out of my mind...and i am sure i never will.
more later...

Gratitude on a whole different level....

-for all the unique and beautiful people i have met and reconnected with
-for a great traveling partner, we are good together...not getting on each other's nerves too much
-for seeing life through new eyes
-for good conversations in late night diners
-for being on the same stage with Andrea Gibson
-for no egos
-for meeting Tara, and getting lost in her eyes
-for the sweetness of Ken, think i have a crush on him
-for meeting some of the Deadly Penz, and for them really enjoying our words
-for making great connections
-for my adventurous spirit
-for being so close to God, He kissed me
-for the purity of snow
-for the kid in me
-for the wonderful kids at the Native American Charter Academy...they made it all worth it
-for the inspiration of IWPS @ Poetry and Beer (one of the best slams i have ever seen)
-for Don offering his home to us
-for warm apple caramel pie served by loving hands
-for late night phone calls making me smile
-for tears of i miss you
-for appreciating what's waiting on me at home more
-for believing in me and mine....

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Day 5 and Day 6

dragged B out once more into the wildnerness. he has been so good about it. finding out the big strong big gunned brotha does not do heights...but is keeping me happy lol.
went up on Lookout Mountain, which lived up to its name for sure. full of snow, i once again was just as giddy. so what does any 38 yr old kid do, falls down in the snow and makes snow angels of course!
i stepped out on to this rocky ledge, that literally had sky below me. birds were'nt flying as high as i was lol. being that high up, my eyes prayed silently, while my lips spoke for them.
performed at a youth slam. these kids are really good. but i am still partial to our austin youth. got to judge the slam as well. that is some tough stuff. but inspired by them and vice versa.
hung out w/ ken, eddie, and jen rinaldi from denver at a local diner...damn good burgers. lots of laughing and great conversations. made me miss my neo even more. they are a strong family here.
temp dropped dramatically. poor ken, no meat on the lil man so i gave him an extra long hug...'cause you know i can keep someone warm lol.
dang, i hated leaving denver...but we must...headed out early tuesday morning for the long drive to New Mexico...
gassed up in Ratton, but the cashier stopped me dead in my tracks. i know it was Halloween, but damn...the girl was in black face, dressed as Aunt sir no sir. hey, this has been a trip of some quite interesting sightings...
i saw colors that just don't exist anywhere else. the trees. the horses. the sky. the mountains. i wanted to place it all in my crayon box and take it home with me. had to stop and take in the moment when the sun decided to go to sleep, i felt it was the least i could do...for the blessing the sky had given me.
made it into town, met up with Don (slammaster for team) and Eric was halloween, so headed over to a party around the corner. the whole street was Halloween to the fullest, every home decorated, lines of kids at each door...pretty neat.
Still meeting the most unique people in the world. artists are the best people. eric invited us to another party up in the mountains, and to see/hear a local band. now you know i was down, always the adventurer...B just smiled and told me to have a good time. no more mountains for him, and the word gypsies really sealed the deal.
Here i am, in a toyota truck with eric, sidney and his dog milo...going higher and higher up a very dark mountain, middle of the night, world beat drums playing from the cd, going higher, no lights, drops on both sides of road, higher...uh, start getting just a lil i fixin' to be a sacrifice or something? i mean it is halloween...then all of a sudden there is this town...don't blink...there is this bar The Mine Shaft...literally behind an apex of the mountain...streets not even paved...oh yeah this is going to interesting.
walk in, and uh yeah....i know its halloween, yeah i keep reminding myself...but it seemed this lil place was something out of the ordinary ALL THE TIME....take all this in: mainly pink people, hippies, old coal miners for real, this gorgeous 6'4 brother, dreads to his behind doing the Charleston on the dance floor, gypsies bellydancing, every once in awhile i would see white german shepards appear and just sit around...okay, this is looking a lil' vampirish lol. held my drink close. someone offered me some of the that good stuff lol, and i YOU KNOW I WAS ON EDGE....end up in some mind shaft sleeping with the dead upside down, wondering why i am allergic to the sir no sir. this is what did it for me, after the band (very good too) finished, i was talking to a local, turned back a moment...there is this girl, in all black, with black tophat on sitting on edge of stage playing a large wooden melodic, so translike, so i will meet ya guys outside LOL.