Friday, June 17, 2005

To Be Still

There is always an inner voice whispering to us, even within this madness of loudness we call life. I am learning to become still again. Learning to be quiet and listen again. I have been so loud w/in myself and outside myself, that the screams of life is the only way "She" has gotten my attention lately. Basically, sending me to my corner until i "get it" time out. Brandy reminded me of what i was and still am...a listener and an observer. I too, find myself talking way too much than i should lately. My words, to some, seem to get misunderstood, judged and misdirected...forgive me, for my heart means no harm. I make others laugh to keep myself from crying. Life asks a lot from me, but now its time for me to ask a lot from life. Even in my new found remembered silence. Its okay to be quiet, to be still. Perhaps we keep busy so we don't have to deal w/ "us", or to find out who we really are. Less verbal from me does not mean knowing less of me. My silence and my observational presence speaks volumes, just take the time to actually see me and you will hear me. Read me like the next best seller.
I love to hear people talk about themselves, but i often listen for what they DON'T say. I can FEEL people when I am around them. See what they hide. I remember as a lil girl, my daddy would bring me around his friends and often ask me what do i feel about them. He would always listen to me when i felt people didn't have my daddy's best interest at heart, or were just not right. I need to get back to this place w/in myself, for people always will show u who they really are...even thru faulty smiles and hugs.So don't think i am withdrawing, on the contrary, i am really plugging into my life. Yes, silence makes people uncomfortable, but it really is okay. Right now, it is what i need and what i crave. To find the lil girl in this woman of two, so she can teach me again the ways of before. To teach me simply the beauty of me.

Saturday, June 11, 2005


he writes from his very soul
passion from his veins
throbs into his brain
until it cannot be contained
metaphors and similes bow down to his command
as long slender fingers write
what a broken soul tucks away
the pen finds it
redefines it
and pulls it thru
sometimes the words burn holes in the paper
'cause the devil knows he is losing this soul
So he tries another way to keep a hold
Give him the mic, and make it powerful
Give him a name "without mercy"
Give him this aphrodisiac he and they
cannot resist
Don't give him clarity
Give them and he superficiality
for the moment
in the meantime
Keep his head clouded
Keep his blood intoxicated
Direct him from his path
From his destiny
An angel's tears,like shattered glass
etch lines of forgiveness down her face
she screams thru muted whisphers
and the gates of hell fall open
releasing his transgressions upon the back of an angel's torn wing

Monday, June 06, 2005

Academic but Inspiring

I know, I know some may say it is futile or so academic, but i find or poet writing labs inspirational. I love words as well...don't most poets. I mean we give life to otherwise mundane words. Make the ordinary into extraordinary. Make new definitions and bend the rules.
writing exercise:given a subject/given letters/pick words w/group/then given 20min to write using these words
My subject: Jazz & Life
words: everlasting/euphoria
I sit back and reminisce
as far back as before
before when life was as melodious as a child's laughter
playing on front porches
innocent in its simplicity
everlasting soulful beats ovulate
as the conception of this being comes into existance
an original score
written among smokey rooms and back alleys
storms brewing
i close my eyes
feeling the rain drum against my skin
each raindrop falls where it is suppose to hit
a beat
a cadence
creative order written
as soothing but still haunting as Thelonious and Miles
creating a euphoria of song and dance
that only thru my ascension in life
do i understand its rhythm