Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Knit...(for you babygirl)

...knit by the fire in the autumn of the year. knit all winter long, woolen socks and mittens, hats and leggings. knit a magical scarf that tells magical stories, mystical yarns. knit ten thousand stitches and, at every stitch, recite a prayer. knit with wool cotton, handspun yarns, curlicued and mohair-soft and fuzzy. knit, purl, knit, purl. knit a family together. knit a community together, drawing each thread closer and linking with the others. knit a row, purl a row, knit a row, purl a row. knit for the baby not yet born a hooded shawl, tiny feet warmers, a blanket dyed with the marigold's gold. knit with your greataunt's needles, smooth wood or ivory, the mouths of whales, clicking softly, softly.. knit and purl, and knit and purl and knit and purl, and knit.
--rachel snyder

and she does so well...knit your heart back together and stronger sis...much love

Sunday, April 27, 2008

mirrored pockets

beauty personified she is
but she doesn't know it
sees only distorted reflections
in cracked mirrors
kept hidden in bits and pieces
in the deep reaches of pockets
rubbing already scarred thumbs
across sharp edges
slicing flesh to the core
the only way she feels alive
for words change
and are temporary
though some stick
like gummy sidewalk trash
...when she is alone
in the darkness
and solitude of herself
she pulls the bloody shards from their hiding places
carefully arranging an image
of brittle distortion
trying to get the pieces to fit
trying to see past conflicted images
not lining up
something always missing
she doesn't see the answer
only more questions of devalue
she is
as simple as a flower in a field
with yellow arms and brown eye
looking for the sun

and not seeing it
missing the beauty of just being
missing the beauty of she.

...the highlighted line is Jonathan Sterling's words...poets had to write a number of similies. later, one poet would pass on one of the similies to another poet, and have them write off of that particular line. this was the result..

Saturday, April 26, 2008


...do something very courageous, very bold, very exhilarating, and pass the energy along. be infectious. lower your voice and lean in to tell how awesome it is to move halfway across the country with no money, no job, no place to live. breathe in, breathe out, breathe into another. tell another woman how you left a suffocating job or relationship--so she knows she can do it. tell a young girl about the thrill of traveling around the world alone--so she knows she can try it. be as healthy, as vibrant, as beautiful, as authentic as you possibly can be, in a way that speaks silently to others. you can be this, too. smile at other women's dreams and their hopes, and reassure them that they'll survive whatever black hole they're currently navigating. at the beach, tell the young mother of four that you and your ex-husband can talk together, laugh together. don't just tell her that she can be there, too, show her. let her see it in your eyes and hear it in your voice and then breath it in --inspire.
--rachel snyder

i didn't have a strong village of women growing up. my grandmother jewel guided me as best and as long as she could. she left too soon...don't they always.
i paid attention to her silent strength. she never complained when life was hard, just dug her boots in deeper to remain standing. always staying true to herself. it has taken me almost a lifetime to remember that same beautiful grace and power runs through my own veins...i am getting it...i am feeling it...i am doing it, and will continue the legacy within my own namesakes and the women along my path.
part of our own responsibility as women...is to teach other women how to be women and stand in their own power...right?
keep passing the baton

Thursday, April 24, 2008

If Ever A Time...

--for the Creators love and grace everyday, and the gentle pushes
--for some much needed time away w/o cellphones...we have become so dependent on them its really ridiculous
--for picking up where we left off, you still are one of the funniest guys i know...glad we are still friends, and thank God for brothers and myspace lol
--to second another blogger's words...jazz, wine & writing with fellow poets/friends...tis good tis good
--for fellow poets/friends sharing good positive personal news, thank you for allowing me to be a part of the celebration
--for the strength of women...nuff said
--for tay's grades heading in the right direction...yeah!
--for the love between me and my brother...none like it...i cut a mofo over him lol
--for family, laughter, pizza, goodwill shopping, and air hockey...haha i BEAT YOU!!
--for our situation being different, but always love and always family
--for a great ktown showdown with 4 slamchamps!!! seriously!!!
--for ihop filled to the brim with poets and the cutie pie cookie handling it all
--for great reggae music, tight circles, and tight eyes lol
--for doing some things solo and being okay with it
--for embracing the sad and negative feelings instead of ignoring them...they are all a part of me and they all need their acknowledgement
--for doing me...well

Monday, April 21, 2008


when you must, insist. insist that you be given the opportunity to speak. insist that everyone be given the same. insist that they listen. insist that every viewpoint be given credence--no matter who presents it. insist on the truth; insist that people be willing to dig for it. insist that the people around you be civil and respectful of all beings. insist that they stop already with the jokes that aren't funny and the compliments that compliment no one. insist on a square deal. insist that people look at you when they talk to you. insist on nothing less from yourself. when polite isn't quite enough and demanding seems over the top, simply, firmly, clearly insist.
--rachel snyder- 365 Words of Well-Being for Women

one must insist in order to be treated a certain kind of way, not just any kind of way. people will either respect it, or walk away...pay attention to the ones that walk away. not only are you setting the standard or setting the bar high for yourself, you are also insisting for others that may not have found their voice yet. insist on your voice being heard, even if its your silence that speaks volumes. insist on respect of self and of others.
my lil .02 cents

Friday, April 18, 2008


...ignore ignorant minds and ignorant actions. when half-truths or untruths are cast in your direction ignore them. when you receive letters filled with vituperative trash, tear them up and throw them into the fire. to repel unwanted and untoward advances, ignore them. ignore all kinds of verbal slings and arrows. turn away, turn around, and walk away. turn the other cheek. say "Good-bye" and then hang up the phone. pay no attention to the ravings of jealous fools. ignore unfounded slurs on your character and your reputation. give them no fuel, and they will eventually die out. to reject, ignore. to snuff, ignore. you suffer no ignominy when you choose to ignore.
--Rachel Snyder

Sorry, but this whole passage needed to be in bold!! some i wish i could double-bold if possible (lol)
nuff said!

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Being in the Moment...

--for the wind rustling through the trees, reminding me of the Greatness & Grace
--for watching my ham of a son in his last 8th grade play...he is a natural
--for the love we have for one another unspoken...words are not always necessary
--for having some of the most dynamic and sexy 40yr old women in my life, and being part of the new club myself lol...we is hot!!
--for kisses on the tops of heads
--for the Velvet Room...heeeeeey!!
--for still a great domino partner...and thank you for pulling him back in...i c u
--for growing and strengthening ties
--for laughs until it hurts...much needed
--for some really great writing together...more about the family feel, than the writing...looking forward to the possibilities...no matter what
--for performing for a great receptive bunch of kids, the questions asked, and hearing their own words
--for not being vindictive...'cause oh baby it would be so easy...temporary pleasure doesn't help anything
--for thank God i have grown past the above
--for insane text messages that again gross me out or have me laughing
--for being a muse for a bit...miss the late night talks homie
--for new lacy pink bras
--for cloud dancing with you
--for insatiable appetites satisfied
--for being just a lil lighter these days
--for the growing maturity

Wednesday, April 16, 2008


...hush now. quit explaining, stop discussing. put an end to the talk, talk, talk, and hush. breathe out slowly and feel the silence. listen to everything, to nothing in particular. rest your throat and your mind with a strong dose of hushed silence. when you've said enough, hush. when you've said a little too much, definitely hush. when you hear yourself start to tear down another woman, hush. when everything that comes out of your mouth begins to sound ugly and negative, hush. if you feel like whining, consider whether you'd rather just hush. when you start dredging up empty words to fill the space, it might do well just to hush a moment. shhhhhh. hear the awesome power of saying nothing at all. hussssshhhhhh
--rachel snyder

this has worked so well for me this past year. i still have my moments, but believe me silence is golden. sometimes i catch myself in mid sentence with the negative talk, and i will immediately stop. forgive myself. remain quiet. then deal with myself later in the quiet moments. we have got to start being accountable, and we must start holding our sisters in higher esteem.
the tongue is a deadly weapon...use it wisely...use it with love...if not, then shut the hell up!

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Writing Lab

Subject: Lost Lives
Words to include:
george grief
xylophone x-ray
youth yield
organic onmipotent
lungs longevity
sorrow socialist

there are no children here
just empty vessels of grief
carrying fading youthful memories
shell shocked lungs breathe the dirt of deceit
and never will be again
tomorrow is their forever sorrow
hidden within omnipotent blank stares
socialist tears have no place here
dried up and crushed under tank treads
and george issued combat boots
the air heavy with the dusty stench of what was
what could be
what should of been
taps the brains like missing xylophone keys
an odd thud
yielding no organic joy
their eyes watch through hollow slits
x-ray into their own future of non-longevity.


...in the dark of the night, howl at the moon. howl in sync with the coyotes who line the ridge at dawn. live your life like a wolf, and howl long and low, high and shrill, plaintive and wailing and ancient. howl with laughter, roaring. howl your grief. howl your loneliness. howl when you need help now. sound a warning call that echoes through the canyons. howl when the others are singing, when the others are weeping. shriek and scream and growl and cry out when there are no words that touch deeply enough or sound wild enough. howl a mournful, soulful, beautiful howl. you know how. howl.
--rachel snyder "365 Words of Well-Being For Women"

sometimes finding that inner wolf is vital to surviving, vital to get through the pain or whatever it is one is feeling.
to find that deep growling, is so primitive..and yes it speaks from the ancient. it is how we once expressed ourselves. it is how women got through childbirth. it is how we mourn. it is how we grow.
Running With The Wolves (can't remember the author right now) was once on my top books read...i would recommend it to any woman.
i dare ya to howl from way down deep in your gut, watch some stuff come loose inside ya.
find her, she is in all of us.

Saturday, April 12, 2008


...honor yourself for the fine woman you are. honor women in every stage of their lives, be they young maidens, mothers, elders. use the word. say i honor you for your courage when a woman takes an unpopular stand. say i honor you for your openness when a woman allows her emotions to flow freely. honor the woman who has had a child--and lost it. honor the woman who, by fate or by choice, will never have a child. honor the woman who fought off an attacker with her bare hands--or did anything, including nothing, to stay alive at the hands of another. honor the grandmothers who tell the stories, who remember the old ways, who have time for the young. honor the woman who has fought to stop war--and the woman who has fought when war called her name. honor the woman who cleans, who cooks, who serves, who governs, who grows, who defends, who protects. honor the woman in every man, if you are lucky enough to catch a glimpse of her. honor every woman as you would have every woman honor you.
--Rachel Snyder

Is there honor amongst women anymore?
I pray it so...though i know i have been guilty in the past of not honoring others or myself. I know honoring other beautiful women in my life, also comes from honoring the beautiful woman inside my own self. Sort of like you can't love others, until you love yourself type thing...yeah.
we women are quick to judge, manipulate, degrade, and tear down one another in an instant. if i am, or ever was guilty of this (i know i have been)please forgive me...as i have forgiven most (lol) that have done the same to me. imagine the love and the healing in just honoring one another....
i am still learning so much
Woman friend
Woman stranger
I honor you
I honor myself

Wednesday, April 09, 2008


...woman, heal thyself. once and for all, find your emotional scars and psychic wounds and set about healing them. heal by talking, painting, acting, dancing, singing, cooking. let your heart lead you. heal in solitude, in a group, in a circle, in a community, in an ashram. heal in the forest or on a mountaintop, in a clinic or in a church. heal with a therapist, a shaman, a counselor, a bodyworker, a priest, a priestess, a rabbi, a minister, a doctor, a medicine woman. let your heart guide you. heal while you're in your thirites, in your forties, in your sixties, in your eighties. it's never too early, never too late. start healing. do it in 12 steps or in 235 steps or in 1,200 steps. heal with herbs, heal with energy, heal with the power of prayer. heal others by healing yourself. heal your community by healing yourself. heal the planet by healing yourself.
--rachel snyder

i know i have so much stuff still to get through, things i am currently dealing with, things from my past that still haunt me, things i am not ready to deal with...but i know i must in order to be the woman i am suppose to be...my true authentic self. i am getting there though, slowly but surely...that is what counts, right?
i have been told i have a healing spirit. sometimes i can just lay hands on someone and calm them...i am not bragging it is just that way. i come from a strong line of women who do the same and more. i find it funny, or interesting i should say, that someone who has this capability, is also a woman who is so wounded herself. perhaps i need to find a way for these hands to touch and heal my own heart.
i will always be a work in progress...not a bad thing at all!

Tuesday, April 08, 2008


guard fiercely that which others want most to wrest from you. your inner wild places and the freedom to visit them often. the gateways to your very soul, the keys to your secret garden and all that you cultivate therein. guard against attacks of all sorts by those who cover your light and envy your brilliance. create shields visible and invisible, and infuse them with the power to deflect invasions of your body, mind, and spirit. guard the security of your home as if it were more valuable than the grandest place on Earth, for surely it is. establish your personal boundaries and guard them against interlopers who would barge in against your will. be the guardian of your own solitude and that of others, and peace shall always be yours.
--rachel snyder

this has become so important to me lately, and even moreso, transitioning into my 40's. i have a very loving and open heart, but not everyone has the best intentions for me...but i will never stop being the woman that i am, just a lil more guarded for my own damn peace of mind.

Monday, April 07, 2008

The moments that mattered...

--you being the first to wish me "Happy Birthday Madame", even if it was a text..thank you
--drinking good wine in the cool breeze
--waking up wrapped in Happy Birthday streamers
--my babies fixing me breakfast before they left for school...no sleeping in, but that was okay
--fried green tomatoes, gumbo, and mini bison burgers washed all down with a drink called "The Moron"...cause if you drink the whole thing...lol...it was huge...uh yeah ya know i finished it! let's get this party started
--finding the perfect outfit for my night, and the look on your face when i stepped out the dressing room
--feeling like a princess the whole night
--the love, the love, the LOVE from my Neo fam and friends...incredible...there are no words to explain how each of you made me feel that night...i am truly a blessed woman in more ways than one...nothing like NEOOOOOOOOOO
--your reaction when i walked into the door
--kisses on the shoulder...hmmm got to wear more stuff like that lol
--tje serenading me...sigh...sigh...sigh...okay sigh
--poetry tag...OMG!!!!!
--attending the relays for the first time and seeing all the yellow love for our beloved tweety.
--hanging out with you...yeah we have turned the corner...like the view
--last minute score for free wristbands to urban music fest
--having a sugar daddy for a day
--finding an exquisite ring to celebrate this 40th milestone
--music to take you back and shaking our tail feathers...do it ladies
--hanging out with 2 of the coolest cats in town at the reggae party
--performing in San Marcos with a fantastic group of young people...so inspiring
--our duet...damn we did that!
--continuous reflection...like i said i am a blessed woman indeed...it only gets better and better...watch out 40's HERE I AM!!

Wednesday, April 02, 2008