Wednesday, September 27, 2006

So Thankful For...

-music from the heart...the real stuff
-just one student saying, "i like that"
-feeling a lil closer to God under her wings
-good game of Upwords with beautiful company and poetic wine
-stepping out on faith
-my younger brother auditioning for speaking part in upcoming series "Friday Night Lights".....AND GETTING IT!!
-my son's cheesy grin seeing his mom, dad, sis, uncle, grandma, and grandpa all cheering him on at the game...he is so cute
-my beautiful Taylor turning 14....she is an amazing child...and she is mine :)
-standing in the breeze and feeling the sunshine warm my face
-watching him sleep and his dimpled smile...beautiful

Monday, September 25, 2006

More For The Day...

she received a traffic ticket, a class C misdemeanor, for knocking a child out of his shoes (who is recovering but still fighting for his life) just because your ass was in a hurry. the irony is she is a teacher. shaking head still.
more what da hell on Kinky...seems an old standup routine has surfaced...uh yes he was a standup comedian...evidently he still thinks he is...anyway, yeah in the routine he did say the word nigger and several other racial remarks...interesting huh? wonder what the polls will say?
Fasting and prayer is really something you must prepare yourself for, which i did not, and it is nothing to take lightly. i realize i must try my own version to become successful, and that is long as the end result is the same, right?
Much prayer and meditation
no solids during the sun hours, but i do drink herbal teas and water
no red meat or pork
limited chicken and fish, soon take out the chicken for awhile though.
much self reflection and reconnecting
being still and listening more...
next year i will prepare myself better, but for now this will do just fine. for me.
love me through this
love me through myself
teach me what it is u need
despite what u want
look past my fears
look past my smile
where i hide the best
walk in my path to understand
point the way to a new one
take my hand and lead me
sometimes i fall behind
sometimes i just fall
catch me or soften the ground
blow the dust off
dry out these wings
are you still there?
just love me through this
just love me through myself....
(letter to me from me)

Saturday, September 23, 2006

Random Thoughts And Observations

What Da Hell!! KiKi Freedman, local candidate here in Austin running for office, is trying to dismiss comments made earlier in the year on CNN...said it was taken out of context...DUH don't they all say that! I found it interesting as well that he commented on the fact "when i first said this, it wasn't a problem. Now, its getting closer to election time and they (media) is finding everything they can."
So was it really taken out of context? He is not denying he said it at all. What did he say, you ask? He was on a talk show on CNN discussing his position on several platforms. The host (can't remember the name) asked about sexual predators and sentencing. Now Kiki is known to be colorful character who quite frequently says some off the wall stuff. I mean he walks around in all black with matching black cowboy hat, smoking fat ass cigars...seriously. His comment was, yeah throw them in prison and throw away the key (here is the punch line ladies and gentlemen) then have 'em listen to a NEGRO TALK TO HIMSELF ALL THE TIME.......
uh.....what the hell is that suppose to mean?
like did he just say NEGRO? probably the closest word to NIGGER he could say w/o actually saying the word, ya know. and the talking to himself...whats that all about?
shaking head...crazy mofo!
Today, in North America, is the first day of Ramadan, an Islamic holiday lasting through October 23rd. I have known a lil about this, but thanks to Angel, i am reminded just how imortant this time may be. It is a time of fasting and prayer, and since the same day it was mentioned by Angel, and the same day i refound (lol) a small book on fasting and prayer...i figured i better listen to the spirit.
It is also a time of self-control, and to cleanse the body and mind. Damn, and i need some of that fo sho!
Before the sun rises you are to enjoy a meal called sukhoor, then no other liquid or solid is to enter your mouth until after sunset...when you enjoy the meal called iftar.
I figure this also will be a good time to start eating healthy again, and to cut the meat out during this time.
more prayer and reconnecting with God, and my own inner spirit...nothing but good can come from this.
Thank you Angel for planting the seed.
Almost 2 pounds of weed, 2/3 pound of mushrooms found in Willie Nelson's tour bus...he is given a misdemeanor?
A SCHOOL TEACHER ignores flashing lights and bus stopping to pick up children. speeds around bus and knocks an 11yr old child out of his shoes, now in critical condition. no charges have been filed yet. police allowed the damn B**** to leave the scene...oh and did i mention she was talking on her cell phone at the time of the CRIME!!
Fed up!!
Ramadan, Perfect timing!

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Gratitude Wednesdays

--cell phones
--my son still wanting to wave at me from across the field
--The Big beautiful poetic family
--good heated debates w/o fist fights
--becoming a sponsor...she taught me well
--my oldest coming home...we need prayers, but at least i know she is safe
--purging a garage
--finding my past, crying, letting go
--great sunday dinners made by my hands feeding a housefull, and getting the "itis"
--ladies night in...always a good thing to reconnect with our own
--cooler weather
-shooting stars and wishes

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

just a tease...

liquid pearl drops
adorn full pink lips
her favorite sweetness
his favorite weakness
letting her drink him into heaven
without judgement
without sin
eases his hardness
into her softness
no movement
just sanctuary
within her temple
their bodies meditate
realigning chakras
his hands knead away
at the subtleties and thickness
of her curves
caresses the underside of her thigh
to go deeper into her playground
soft breaths whisper secrets
across her neckline
into her hair
the scent of raspberries and vanilla
intoxicates his senses
so his tongue seeks its own inebriation
inside her mouth........

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Gratitude Wednesdays

--seeing my son play football for the first time, they won! not biting my fingers completely off...and knowing it was MY son by the untied shoe laces LOL
--celebrating life with good family and people, good laughs, good drink, good dominoes, and damn good poetry
--the belief in love no matter what
--rereading old journals and laughing...who the HELL was that girl!!
--rereading old journals and crying...i still have work to do...but realizing, i have come so far as well.
--seeing Taylor just being a girl in all her glory...sigh...growing up so fast
--standing in the rain and feeling every drop...being in the moment
--cotton candy skies and cool nights...yeah the weather is changing!!

Monday, September 11, 2006

She (work in progress)

cascading memories fall gently from my locks
secrets kept tightly within each curl
wound around fingers
slight tugs
i submit
neck exposed
full tilt
desires overwhelm me
my need satisfies you
reciprocation at its finest.

licked away the residue of anyone before you
even after you
left behind a scent so strong
who could even compare
whosever divide these thighs
cannot conquer the land you laid claim to
a thirst unquenchable
insanity at its finest.

where has your path led ?
what dusty roads or cool meadows
have felt the destiny of your soft feet
imprinted deeply into their nature?
did the sun feel your heat?
did the rain feel your wetness?
what secrets whispered into the wind?
what raging waters calmed?
did lightning spew from your fingertips
to light up the night?
a Goddess at her finest.

long wet black tresses signed your name
permanently across soft curves
eternity held within a moment
encased in featherbed time
you are the reason i love the color mauve
the hue of your treasure
the tint of our sky
the night you fingerpainted my blues away
art at its finest.

memories deliciously stir taboos
makes men wonder why i smile the way i do
makes women secretly want what i could do
sutras kept within corners of yesterday
still within reach
so at that very moment
the one lingering between heaven and hell
she will see the only she reflected within my eyes
taught well by passion at its finest.

A Few Things

Brandy's questions:
1. what is the most under-rated thing about you, and why do you value it more than others do?
--my strength, i even at times under-rate it. but i know because of it, i have risen above and walked through so much. people often mistake this constant smile and my good heart for weakness...ahh but don't back me in a corner lol.
2. what is the most over-rated thing about you, and why do you value it less than others do?
--that i am some oversexed goddess or sex kitten trying to seduce men and women alike...goddess yes, love sex yes, but come on please! i have had a few laughs (and a few tears) over this description of myself...but i am so much ...SO MUCH MORE.
3. whose relationship do you admire, and why?
--in my life right now, it would have to be my Babygirl Eboni and David. He is her everything, and she is his all. I love seeing how he looks at her, the way they seem to blend into one another, the way he calms her, the way she strengthens him...their beautiful love continues to grow, their possibilities are endless.
i have seen Idlewild twice now, and will see it again if the opportunity arises...second time though this really hit me over the head when i heard it: the one least invested in the relationship has the greatest control!
i mean it doesn't get any plainer than that....
any thoughts or comments?

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Gratitude Wednesdays...umm into thursdays

1. laughing with you. your wise words about him. about her. the time you taught me how to cook a favorite recipe of mine. me covered in flour, and you so proud of your apprentice. remembering where the tape was...always making me feel like family from the first moment.
2. decorating and cleaning like crazy...must be something in the air.
3. the neosoul maid service
4. enjoying a relaxing time at home on a wednesday night. not feeling like i HAD to go.
5. cooking for and nourishing my family. i love to cook
6. for baby steps
7. for dancing my behind off sunday night with a pretty good partner
8. realizing its the moments of the now that truly count...expectations mean nothing
9. when he says i want it to be better
10. knowing just how precious life is, and not wasting time on the drama
11. loving these cooler days and nights!!!!

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

More Questions

Slump Facade asked:
1. Do you believe in love at first sight, if so, tell me how you would know it...and has it happened to you?
--i am such a romantic, so yes i do believe. i can't truly explain it, one just knows. i have experienced this twice in this lifetime. we felt this "energy" or something go through us when we shook hands and a gaze that was seemingly suspended in time. very passionate love affair soon ensued...two for the regrets
2. If you could get a foot massage from any man, who would it be and why?
--would have to be someone with a foot fetish. guaranteed no toe will go unnoticed, and no rush jobs. hmmm wonder if Denzel is available?
3. If God were a woman and she asked you to take her place for a day, who would be the first person you'd send to Hell?
--HA!! George Bush and all of his cabinet...both terms!!

1. How did you feel performing in front of so many of your poetic peers...those you look up to?
DID U SEE THAT BIG CHEESY GRIN ON MY FACE WHEN WE WALKED ON STAGE THE FIRST TIME? it was all so surreal, very humbling. kept telling myself OMG!BREATHE!OMG!BREATHE!..nothing like the first time ya know!
2. At what age did the big CHANGE happen to start you on the road currently being traveled?
--by change do you mean really understanding who i am? it would of been may 26, 2004...first time i read poetry outloud on the mic. spoken word has truly allowed me to recreate understand, to teach, to love me.
3. Why don't i have a picture WITH you?
--i was thinking the same...well next time

1. What inspires you to write?
--my healing, my life, and love
2. What did your 1st time (on the mic) feel like?
palms sweaty, whole body shaking, voice cracking....whew! but liberating
3. Three adjectives to describe your style?
--multifaceted, sometimes sexy, self reflective

1. If you could live anywhere in the world for the rest of your life, where would it be and why?
--maybe somewhere in alaska. huge 3 story cabin on the water's edge. lots of wilderness and animals...only nice bears please! yes i am a nature girl.
2. What did you want to be when you grew up?
--a vet, a dancer, a professional artist, and a millionaire so i could have a huge mansion for all the starving children in africa to live in (thought i could rescue the world then)
3. If you had to lose your sight or your hearing which one would you pick and why?
--i would hate not being able to hear my children's voices any longer, but would sacrifice it. not being able to see their faces would drive me insane, a smile, a tear, sunsets, water, flowers...i mean all the things we look pass and take for granted.