family ties

so i came up to Conroe basically kicking and screaming. but i kept it all to myself. over 14yrs and every holiday has been spent w/ him, then w/ my babies. so i went quietly kicking and screaming. hard to break a bond.no matter how weak the perception. i did not know how the family, my family, would recieve me. my own guilt caused preconceived notions. wow was i wrong.glad i was.open arms and hearts from almost everyone. i say almost everyone, cause the one i knew would put on the fake face-did-she is also the gossiper of the family-so expected-no love loss. so many people make the trip to this home full of love.seriously. between 11am-midnight over 100 people made their way thru the doors, bringing something....damn should of seen the food the food the food the food the food here.deserts deserts deserts deserts!! 7up cake OMG! ya'll folks know what i mean.but we are in conroe country and this is some good down home country people here too. Coon, yes racoon, was right next to the turkey and ham...oh yeah did i mention somebody brought some moonshine....damn serious!! one of the elder matriarchs of the family no less. lol. yep moonshine. i didn't know folks still made that fire!!
no i didn't try it....chicken i guess or maybe smart.
i sat back and watched this family, my family, but still felt like an outsider. or was i the one who chose to be on the other side of the window lookin in? down home good people. always welcoming. uncle buck or 'daddy' i call him, my kid's big pop, and his brother uncle buddy argued alllllll day long. well not really. more like bragging rights. its hilarious. everyonce in awhile aunt jenni lee would jump in (also the one who drinks too much/wants too dance w/everyone....ya'll know the one in every family)now here is the ultimate bragging rights between these brothas. 'daddy' has an 8yr old son, meaning Tarik(38)has and 8yr old brotha.so of course, uncle buddy did not want to be outdone...now has a 3yr old...of course not unsual...but did i mention both of these grown ass men are in their mid 60's!! lol lol...oh and her name is 'miracle' seriously
anyway after much indulging and grazing all day. after the constant bragging rights 'arguing', the laughter, the constant motions....the house became quiet...and i missed it, wanted all the commotion to continue-to comeback. what the hell was that!!oh the kid's uncle, anthony, snoring in the lounge chair...put it this way he would give Big Brotha B a run for his money!!!
went to the computer, surfed awhile, reading my blog. tarik wanted to know what it was so i let him read it, well most of 'em. he looked at me, and said i didn't know, i am so sorry. what r u sorry for? im sorry for not supporting u, for not realizing how important poetry is to u and the family u have now become a part of, for not understanding. i'm sorry.
wow like i have said it soooo much, but i guess to SEE it in black n white is a hit on the head. for tarik, it was like being hit by a truck and i was driving.
to be continued......