Uhhh yeah I have sooooo much to be thankful for...

--for Creator & She and all their saving Grace, indeed
--for last weeks neosoul being the old hot neosoul..it was fantastic
--for good energy
--for balance...taking the good with the bad
--for our short time together...thank you
--for a great night being w/our extended poetic family...the laughs made my face hurt, and playing catch phrase was sooooo much better as a group thang lol
--for cooking with my big brotha b...he just plays like he is helpless
--for first days of school
--for my baby's first day as a HIGHSCHOOLER...breathe lol
--for her being such a blessing to my life
--for trust
--for the arresting officer apologizing repeatedly for arresting...thats not normal, but he was sooo sweet.
--for the odd bonding experience with 4 other women in jail, that any other circumstances we would of just walked past one another.
--for knowing if i hadn't met them the jail experience would of been unbearable, thanks for the laughs
--for being oh so thankful for the lil things
--for hugs on the outside.....god i still can't believe it happened
--for sleep....lots of it
--for copa having the white bronco ready next time...i pray there won't be a next time...thanks for having my back like that bro
--for footrubs and back rubs
--for love ever present, though are paths are slightly changing now...still my best friend
--for great pix of nats posted on myspace (so go look)
--for life and all its curves and dips
--for being me...and i'm loving what i see
--for the people in my life, good, bad, and indifferent...each of ya are still a part of me, and have taught me so much about life and about myself.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SUNSHINE...its the first day of a new year for ya...smile...luv ya much!

Painted Fantasy

paint me your fantasy
paint me in your favorite shade of naughty
press deep until we become one
until satisfaction is second nature
and animalistic tendencies take over
i will tame whatever yields itself
rhythmic...
tantric...
let me place my fingertips
into the edge of your mind
pull you closer
taste the essence of me on full lips
lick the corners to savor this fantasy
wrap me in colors of you
let rain melt away darkness
let thunder resonate deep within this throat
as dew drops adorn lips like soft pearls

you suck sweetly as if writing prayers along my fingertips...
i can only moan...amen

Sometimes It Feels This Way...

this is love upon my lips

Another Wonderous Day Isn't It....

--for the Creator and She...and all of their saving Grace
--for Neo coming back, and having a really good night with all the newness lol
--for you surprising me, and getting on the mic for the first time
--for David getting on the mic for the first time as well
--for folks who have nothing to do but start rumors...glad i'm doing something to keep ya so interested lol...shit is hilarious...how i love your kind
--for being there when needed and not so needed, but needed none the less
--for new passions
--for my children...damn i am so lucky and so blessed
--for star lit nights
--for my pen flowing again
--for feeling a change coming...i'm ready this time
--for yummy dinners, dominoes and a great poetic family
--for standing within my self, and enjoying what i see...
--for knowing it will get better for you sunshine
--for knowing there is a great blessing coming your way babygirl...mark my words
--for the hard stuff, and the good stuff...all teaching moments
--for loving you where you are...where we both are...
--for learning new things
--for my younger brother...he still is my babyboy, though towers over me lol
--for feeling good in this skin
--for pedicures and shiny cute toes
--for this outlet
--for tears with the beautiful memories of you...love you Grandma

My Heart Be Still...

I think i've done right by this one ya'll...
with her permission of course...

You Raised Me

You raised me
you raised me when i had the little puff balls in my hair
with the little colored bands tied around them
but now you say i'm ald enough to do my own hair
i wish i can relive those days
when i see my own 3rd, 4th, and 5th birthday happening in front of my eyes again
to me you are my Egyptian Queen
and to me you are my mother to my nature
i will be your pyramids just by showing how beautiful you are from head to toe
and i will be your butterflys and flowers you walk upon
when you kiss me
your sweet kisses sink into my sour
making me sleep through the night
without having a bad dream
but only if i dream of you holding me in your arms
singing lullabys for me
awww you raised me so well
now i stand 5'5, 113 lbs
going on to the 9th grade, man i swear you raised me so well.
you smell as if you walked through a garden
but locked it with a key
God blessed you as you became of this day
Ma you are my every into little things
you helped me become this girl i am today
and i thank you with everything i have
man you raised me well.
-written by my daughter Taylor

lol @ the man, you raised me well line...too cute
sigh

He came to me a King...

(reposting this earlier piece, someone with some SERIOUS issues posted a 3 page comment that had nothing do with...well just the inner workings of uhhhh yeah...anyway reposting...feedback please)

inscribed love letters to self
to see worth with each blink
until they fall from grace
silently caressing the air
but with heavy repercussions
upon my heart.

the words "i love you"
have a thousand different meanings
yet, its only one i want defined,
the way "i love you" escapes from his eyes,
from his lips...is secondary.

conquering land stitched in seams
unraveling since i could remember
braiding then into his now.
what was before you?

molding my body of regrets
in his forgiving hands
i was reborn
he, so patient
i, in mourning

let me bury my past
within the bend of his neck
as he whispered their eulogies
across earlobes
each word spoken
returned an angel to watch over us.

he calls me his sunshine,
i have crowned him king
a warrior who fought through time
to capture our first moment
his spear plunged deep
into the realm of our existance
claiming his land
claiming his queen

no questions asked
we were the answers spoken
on each other's lips long ago
he asks nothing of before,
but knows i am more than it will ever be.

he fights for namesakes
not thought of yet
but the stars whisper their names
into my womb
every night he enters his kingdom
praying this will be the moment
my womb whispers their names back....

(not finished of course...still rough around the edges)

My Jewel

today is bittersweet...still on high from last night and neo coming back strong...but today i am reminded how fragile life can be...it is my Grandmother Jewel's b'day.
she was sent home quite some time ago, but everyday feels like it was just yesterday...the pain and emptiness is still everpresent...though she is prolly fussing right now telling me she hasn't gone anywhere, has always been right there. i know...but...just one more day...please
to smell mother earth in her hands...they were so strong
to have them fixing my hair again
to have her drag me to church kicking and screaming, but letting me lie my head in her lap sucking on peppermints
to have her spoil her great grandbabies with "ice cream" money..even in my 20's she would send me a 20 dollar bill often calling it "ice cream" money...even today i look for those letters. maybe one got lost along the way, and i need it to find me.
to see my children grow strong under her wisdom...didn't need encyclopedias, i had her
to have her continue to teach me the ways of our ancestors...she was incredibly intuitive, used homeopathic remedies before it was "in style", and knew so much before it came to be...the women in my family have always been this way...i pray i honor them with my own.
to hear her quietness, she always chose her words carefully before speaking...i guess we all could learn from that one...she could fuss at me from across the room w/o ever opening her mouth lol...bet i straightened up quick though lol.
to draw from her amazing strength...i know now what she had always known...i come from a line of truly beautiful, gifted, strong and empowering women..just now i have learned to own this legacy...i pray i am still able to pass it on to one, for the other already has it as well.

fallen star wishes
angel wing wishes
Grandmother's sanctuary...she just wishes

i love you and miss you dearly

Nationals and Beyond....

--for the image above you wanted me to have...thank you
--for my team...love you all...we worked hard, and it showed...ma is soooo proud
--for kim making sure my babies walked away with a lil something extra...thank you...despite kami trying to get a lil extra more...he is a boy lol
--for late night fun at the hyatt...there are no words, but plenty of laughter!!
--for you and i kicking ass again at the table
--for victory laps
--for erika's crackhead punch...that is my name for it from now on...whew!!
--for seeing old buddies and making new ones
--for being moved to tears by words
--for rebirth in words
--for you just showing up...not expected, but very sweet...make sure its not stalkish though lol
--for strength in the face of adversity
--for seeing you in true form...and i continue to pray
--for shannon on the final stage...wow!
--for ktown representing!! keep that texas legacy going fam
--for the words fighting to be released from my pen and my mouth...give me freedom!
--for meeting joshua at denny's and putting it all into perspective...there will never be enough thank you's my brother
--for all the hardwork done by the volunteers this year
--for my words meaning something to just one...that is all that matters
--for virgo's and all their complexities...there are plenty of you mofo's in my life
--for you, me, bathroom door, and poetry
--for standing in the presence of God...for an entire week
--for home returning...and for returning home
--for thursday nights
--for wanting more, but it is not our time
--for being in such a good place right now in my life...so freeing
--for 10 lbs gone..hahaha
--for being able to be there for you...when you least expected it...love you
--for love, for family, for life

IT IS HERE....!!

I am trying to feel like this right now, but actually....


...i feel like this....


annnnnd i also feel like this....

Because Life is not perfect....therefore its beautiful!
(line from "I Am Poetry")
and everyday is a reason to say THANKYOU!

ahhh its Wednesday...

--for all that THEY bless, sustain, and protect
--for one of the most amazing weeks of poetry coming upon us...its here!
--for small circles within larger ones...moons, planets, and suns...we need it all
--for fun parties, and great dancing partners
--for the versatility of my hair, and liz wanting to conquer it lol...i think ya did
--for long conversations while receiving footrubs...niiiice
--for stimulation of the mind...
--for trading poetry lines with my big brotha b
--for the incredibly silly women on my team...damn i love ya
--for the princess of the team shining...its your turn babygirl
--for reasons not known...but knowing, now is not the time
--for giggles and laughs while at victoria secrets
--for women...no matter what, it does come down to self respect and respect of others
who may not look like you, but we are the same...fighting, loving, laughing, crying, hurting, praying, dancing, living, struggling, being...the bond is always there
--for life and healing...im in such a good place right now...still so far to go
--for getting to see some of neo's extended family next week
--for NeoSoul getting a new lease on life again in the same place it started...wow
--for my babies...nuff said...nuff said...nuff said
--for full moon nights...something spiritual about it
--for the power of words
--for love and all its stages
--for some of the extra coming off slowly, but surely
--for cutting out pork, and red meat...baby steps baby steps
--for the way your whispers feel on my neck
--for long lists