Wednesday, July 12, 2006

i can be so oversensitive to my environment at times. whether its people, feelings, my surroundings, or the 'other' world speaking to me wanting to be seen/heard.
i have always been this way.
sometimes it is quite helpful...has saved my life on more than one occassion...paying attention to the signs and the voices. i have seen things happen before it comes to be, and have seen things from the past thru inanimate objects. i don't say lifeless objects because my belief is everything has a soul, and carries imprints of life with it through time.
one reason i have a fascination with thrift and antique stores. but sometimes the stories are too much and i must leave. dang i sound really wierd now that i'm rereading this...so be it...what else is new. lol
i remember my father asking me at a very young age, like 6 or 7, about people he came in contact with and what i thought...i mean at that age all i knew was they are nice daddy or they are bad daddy. and he would listen to me.
my grandmother and great grandmother on my father's side had the same intuition, and my mother was once a practicing witch (sometimes she is still a witch, but under different context lol)
i like this side of me, and i want to explore more of it...fine tune it per say. i believe this 6th sense resides in us all, its just whether or not we choose to listen.
its my oversensitivity to people that drives me nuts! i have got to work on it, and not take things so personally. have to come to grips with sometimes people just don't like you for no reason at all...not fair, but it is what it is...and i have got to be cool with that. stop trying to bend over backwards to please and be likeable.(feels like highschool bs anyway- trying to befriend all the bullies) realize they are just as fucked up as you are, and the only person i can control is myself right, angel?
right.
working on trusting that first feeling.
working on listening to the voice.
working on pleasing me

5 comments:

joey said...

YES!
YES!
YES!
some live for their disdain of others and hate what they can't disapprove.

bRandy said...

"stop trying to bend over backwards to please and be likeable.(feels like highschool bs anyway- trying to befriend all the bullies) realize they are just as fucked up as you are, and the only person i can control is myself right, angel?"

michelle,
if you actually take this statement and live it...it will be your most beautiful work of art yet. mean it...and do it...give that gift to yourselves and let that weight off your shoulders.

-B

SLUMP FACADE said...

Do you really bend over backwards, try to be likeable? Damn, you need to stop that bs, do you, if it hurts so be it. My 6th sense only alerts me when I need to remove myself from certain persons, places and things. Smile more, frown less...

Shelle said...

jo...VERY right on point...must be painful to live like that...feel sorry for 'em in a way

brandy...yes, i am putting into fruition as we speak...and yes i feel a lil lighter, smile...just have to remind myself often

slump...i am a pretty likable person, even keel, i don't flip out like sybil or anything, very laid back...tend to try harder with those who for no reason have it out for me, but it has stopped..at least trying...and yeah it is crazy thing...being a pleaser is a curse sometimes

Angel said...

tha's damn right boo! can't control what you feel, only how you act on it... do what you do baby girl, do what YOU do! :)