Not Now

i got the right to be wrong
one time
many times in this lifetime
so let me be
go find another leading lady
to satisfy your understudies
oh but being wrong about you
felt so right
at the time...
...even now in fractured memories
i felt the feel of hands feeling softness
before the fall
caught you
like always
walking the tightrope
without safety nets
you were not there
yet i knew from experience
i was set up for the fall
by my own hands
still
stepped out on faith
repeatedly
faithless faith less than a mustard seed
who will believe in me?
if you have faith i will not be there
do i even exist?
and if i have faith in forgiveness
why is it so hard to pray?
all the amens have dried up with the tears........
i am taking my final bow
disappointment curtsies
no roses
no kisses
no standing ovations
faint bravos waft through the air
landing heavy at nondancing feet
i turn
hesitating
hoping for a reprieve
switch has been thrown
exit slowly
head held high
downcast eyes
heart beats drowning in captured pain
i got the right to be wrong...right?