Thank you....

always be grateful. give thanks for all that you have, no matter how little or how much that may be. thank your grandmother for wonderful cheekbones, thank your fourth-grade teacher for getting you that special book on how bridges are built. when you get through another day, say Thank you to God or Goddess or whoever you believe is in charge. be thankful for the music that leaves make when tickled by a warm breeze; be thankful for rain. when your promotion comes through, say Thank you. when a friend lets you sleep on her sofa because you can't be anywhere else, say Thank you. be thankful that you have two arms and legs that work. if you don't, be thankful you still have a heart with which to give thanks.
--rachel snyder 365 Words of Well-Being for Women

...oh and i am! the house is finally quiet. leftovers are dwindling. it is cold and rainy outside. feeling warm and melancholy inside.
therefore, i want to say a few thank you's to some folks who have touched my life..whether briefly, long term, past, present, or whatever way...everything for a reason...each teaching moments, if you pay attention.
I know i am truly blessed for each of you...my heart is full.
--for Creator & She, sustaining and protecting me from seen and unseen, for blessing me endlessly
--for Grandmother Jewel, you were/are my cornerstone in this life. my everything. thank you for being what my parents lacked. thank you for your strong deep roots growing through me, even today.
--for my family, far and near...may be small, may be dysfunctional, but you are me, and i am you...still a family, still love
--for my children, thank you for being my reasons times 3...you make me laugh 'til it hurts, cry sometimes, smile everyday...thank you for completing me
--for tarik, our first thanksgiving apart in 16yrs...wow...thank you for the wings you help to grow, thank you for always having my back and being my cheerleader, thank you for being a great father, thank you for the real love so long ago. i know we wish things were different, but know you will always be my best friend. i love you
--for "g" thank you for wanting to create life with me...just wasn't in the cards
--for "sc" thank you for the dangerously in love passion...destiny...thank you for teaching me so much about me.
--for lisa, thank you for being a praying friend and kicking me in the azz when i needed it...thank you for your realness sis and knowing it is all love
--for my neosoul family...wow...what do i say...nothing like being a souljah, sharing stages, sharing words, laughs, tears, pain, and most of all love for the passion of poetry. thank you for recreating who it is i am...
--for my extended neo family and poets met along the way, thank you for your words, your friendships, your pushing the envelope, for making me want to grow as a writer and performer...
--for sarah, thank you for keeping me laughing, the teaching moments, the craziness, for being my partner in crime, for fuzzy slippers, for letting me be w/o the makeup.
--for ebony, thank you for being the beautiful, "i don't give a damn"(but i know you do)gully babygirl that you are, thank you for you and i always being able to say "Look, dammit!" and being able to work it out. thank you for letting me see the vulnerable you which is just as beautiful.
--for brian, thank you for being my big brotha from day one, thank you for the stepping out on faith road trip, for the big heart and big smile, thank you for the strong shoulders and knowing when things just not right. love ya
--for jo, joey, josephine, ms scrumptious, thank you for letting your home be the first place my wings landed, for girl talk, for your huge huge giving heart, for being able to see the growth through the pain, for allowing me to be part of the newness (hell yes!)thank you for always making me stutter lol, thank you for creating such a beautiful poet and poem.
--for kim, thank you for being on helluva a card partner, for seeing and feeling we might be getting it right away from the table, thank you for the teaching moments, for the knowing looks lol, for creating such beautiful pictures with your words, thank you for gentle pushes and encouragement.
--for herman & june, thank you for having a spot that changed my life, that gave me huge wings, that constantly challenges me, that covers and warms me like grandmother's quilt, thank you for believing in me...never enough thank you's
--for evan, thank you for being the fellow aries who just gets me, for the late night writing sessions, for random photos on my camera, and helping me take my big girl pills, thank you for making me feel we have known one another forever...neoooooo!
--ummm for me, thank you for forgiving yourself for the past, well most of it, for growing, enjoying, living, trusting, healing, loving, believing again...love every moment girl, fly as high as you can...fall, then fly again.
--for anyone who feels they should of been named personally, but is not...i'm sorry, don't take it personally...each one and so many are woven throughout my life, some unraveled, some worn, some deeper than others, but still all connected...together a beautiful tapestry called I
so thankful for such a long list

Emerge...

Come out of the shadows and come into your own. leave behind your armor and your shells and your veils and your protection and emerge fresh and newly born. today, step from behind your screens and masks, peel away the layers upon layers of fear and emerge into a world of love and trust. emerge in your own time, in your own way, with your chosen guides at your side. see the world through the eyes of a the woman you were always destined to be. like a tiny chick cracking her way out of a darkened egg, emerge. like a radiant butterfly, like a glorious rose opening from a tightly closed bud, emerge. out of your past and into the gift that is your present, emerge. when it's time, when you're ready, emerge.
--Rachel Snyder

My Heart Is Full...

--for Creator & She...amazing what joy you bless me with
--for my kids and the constant unconditional love
--for the women in my life, each a reflection, each a special beauty, each teaching moments, each phenomenal, no matter--what the common bond is there...
--for intense card games with the lovely ladies in green...we held it down though
--for helluva good time just hanging out with the ladies
--for strong hugs of i'm sorry and its okay all wrapped into one
--for you holding it together when she was "sandbagging" just walk away lol
--for me, b, ka, and the everready bunny, shaking our groove thang
--for the tree house and all its healing power
--for watching my lovely daughter on stage during her dance recital...i cried the whole time
--for nice dates with you, too cute how you try to impress me so much
--for the trust game walking down congress...dang i got issues lol
--for kind words...you know they really do go a long way
--for you making it to the top 10...you go girl!
--for you asking her about me, though she wouldn't give you the satisfaction...haha...don't you love the ones who got ya back lol
--for shoulder kisses
--for babygirl being able to exhale...i'm sooooo smiling
--for him calling me just elated...no more doughnuts lol...creme brulee only lol!
--for knowing somewhere out there...that special kind of love is out there for just for me...what is meant to be will be...no need to worry
--for the pen writing what i don't understand...but i am ok with that...there is a reason
--for you letting me vent, you get me so well king

i wished for you upon a comet's tail
wished 3 times on golden stars
blew gently...
only to realize you were an angel
falling from heaven
or were you
falling from grace?
still so beautiful
saw you race across the sky
dance on saturn's rings
and sit within the imagination of pluto
the fire of the sun
dried your tears
and colored the tips of your tresses
i watched you...
braid ribbons of venus into your hair
wrap jupiter's moons in your lashes
and colored your lips with the red clay of mars
draped the milky way across your shoulders
to keep you warm
because the closer to earth you fell
the colder it became...
my love for you would never be enough
to save you
for the unrighteous want a taste of your purity
your sweetness
your angelic state of mind
they taste you in nibbles
swallow in gulps
until the original blueprint no longer exists
regurgitating your worth as nothing
want to rest in the back of your throat
to feel the rhythm of your speech
though the words you speak mean nothing to them
so they silence your voice with their pretense
still wanting your mouth
still wanting your temple degraded
kingdom thighs thrown open
womb heavy
carrying no nations
though false deities stake claim often
leaving behind diseased semen
to water the flowers
no longer bearing evolutionary seeds
thorns pierce from the inside
internal bleeding kills slowly
and Great Mother is weeping
for her child...
your thick thighs, hips, and full lips
were never meant for these images
nor for amusement and entertainment
this place is not for you
no matter the promises unkept
but be careful, the kingless children are watching
peeping through fool's gold
draped around their necks like nooses
waiting for you to value you
so i tip toe across heaven
plucking feathers from the backs of sleeping angels
dipping quills in a poet's ink
and writing prayers of redemption
along the backside of each
binding them with the lost ribbons of Venus
that once adorned your hair
wings may feel strange
may not fit like they use to
but they will help you fly with worth
and return you to your rightful place
and i pray the lost kings will follow...

(work in progress...feedback appreciated)

Embrace...

Open your arms wide enough to hold close everything that you hold dear. open your heart and wrap it around thirteen other hearts. now stretch it a bit further and embrace thirteen thousand hearts. take in a new idea, a new way of looking at things, and try it on for size. embrace it. give your honey a squeeze. ask for one in return. ask for lots. sink into every one. hug from your shoulders to your hearts to your bellies to your pelvises and down to your toes. feel the life force in yourself, in others, when you embrace. hug someone who never expected it--yet who needs it all the more. embrace the totality of who you are. hug your wounds, your tender spots. embrace those parts of yourself you thought you could never, ever touch. drink them all in with your deepest, most gentle embrace.
--rachel snyder

before you go
leave your sweet poison on my lips
taste life and death
taste them and me
which is sweeter love?
you bit a long time ago
i took the bait though
wounds still fresh
still call your name
seeking your knife
to cut deeper
its how i feel
and i remember well

Drop...

Drop the act already! drop your armor and be vulnerable. just drop it to the floor. once in a while, drop your defenses and yield. drop your shoulders and drop your jaw so your energy can drop down into your belly where it belongs. drop your pretenses and be real. drop your masks and shrouds and veils and whatever else you've been holding up in front of you for so long. drop anything and everything that gets between you and your truth. that gets between you and other human beings. when others just don't get it, drop a few hints. drop a bombshell. when you're ready to drop from exhaustion, drop to your knees and ask for help. you never know what--or who--might drop from the sky.
--rachel snyder

Dig...

Dig in the earth and feel the moist soil teeming with life. dig in the sand and discover where the glowing warmth meets the cool dampness. dig deep for answers: push past layer upon layer and dig down until you strike the gold of your own truth. dig a hole and bury your tears. dig a grave and bury the robin you found at the side of the road. dig a hole just deep enough to plant the seeds you want to flower and blossom in your life, but not so deep you fall into it time and time again. dig for treasure wherever and however it's buried. when you feel you've exhausted all your strength and all your courage and all your compassion, dig deep and discover how much further you can dig.
--Rachel Snyder

Die...

sometimes, part of you must die so that other parts can live. let the controller part of you die, and you'll be able to trust and receive more. when the overbearing part of you dies, a softer, more compassionate you will thrive. let the natural cycle of life, death, and rebirth be your guide. when your overarching need to do, to achieve, to produce is allowed to die, only then will you be able simply to be. when you are ready to let go of an old pattern that no longer serves you, it is a good day to let it die. honor the passing of any part of yourself, for it has helped shape who you are becoming. acknowledge your loss, mourn the dying, and turn to embrace the birth of a new and healthier you.
--rachel snyder

Fantastic Fridays...

--for the one who continuously blesses me, there are never enough thank you's to say, but i am always grateful
--for a great poetic weekend with the neo fam...exposing folks to the new
--for getting my wheels back...YES
--for seeing kami's eyes light up when he sees his mom and dad in the stands
--for tarik not having a cracked ankle, just really bad sprang.
--for seeing my mom, its been too long
--for knowing and feeling that He was with me on the mic last night
--for my babygirl...for my babygirl...for my babygirl...we are in a real good place right now
--for the night she and my brother decide to come out to neo...everything for a reason
--for the women of neo doing it and doing it, and doing it WELL
--for you sending me pix that cracked me up, and the kind words that followed
--for herm and june, fellow poets and the audience...my heart is full
--for you getting on the mic again, yeah that was needed babygirl...don't forget to txt me lol
--for days the world is weighing heavy and things just ain't right, i can still find a lil good in it...its important to my sanity
--for new words, some not quite ready to be spoken, but want to be written

Depend...

depend on others to make good on their promises. depend on yourself to do the same. depend on her to honor your agreement. depend on him to tell the truth. depend on yourself to learn the difference between codependency and interdependency. be very clear about who you can depend on and who you can't. don't depend on somebody else to clean up your messes. create boundaries you can depend on, even when the winds are blowing. entrust your most valuable ideas, hopes, secrets, and dreams to people you can depend on. take a long, hard look at whom you're depending on these days-and for what. take a person's hand in yours, look straight into their eyes, and say I'm depending on you. in the end, be prepared to depend on yourself if those around you prove undependable.
-rachel snyder

Da Weekend...

....was rejuvinating indeed. Drove down to san antonio saturday night for "The Recipe"...a lil shin dig vocab, glo, and savant entertainment put together. great night of poetry, music, and laughs....best part, i have 2...first, riding down there with all my brothers...second, being able to feature with my neo family....felt good again.
by the way kevin sandbloom is a nut!! i really like how more and more he reveals himself when around us...he is a comedian!
Then sunday headed out to giddings for another show @ Tony's house. we made a quick stop @ an old friend's resting place. love you tweety.
the place was packed, and the poets showed out. tony's chest was stuck out lol. i would say 98% of the folks there had NEVER been exposed to spoken word...so it was a treat two-fold. all the different styles present, no ego's, no competetion, no whatever...just sharing of selves, a plush red carpet, and words...good words. the impromptu haiku death match was too funny! but once again, we came together, rode together, laughed together...ALL of us felt damn good together.
much needed...my spirit is full.

Deepen...

go deeper. deepen your capacity to love by loving more people more deeply. deepen your understanding of your own psyche by reading about the goddesses Diana, Hestia, Aprodite, Sophia. deepen your knowledge of everything. rely on every tool available to you. deepen your ties to other women. understand them more deeply, treasure thier friendships more deeply. know them in a deeper way. deepen every relationship you have. go to new levels of caring, of honesty. deepen your willingness to risk. when you sink into the depths, go deeper into your own darkness and embrace it more deeply. dive deeper into your own consciousness so you can mine the most precious jewels that lie deep within. deepen your inner wisdom as you age, and your outer beauty deepens, too.
--rachel snyder

Fantastic fridays...

--for Creator & She, their grace and blessings
--for better days thru the darkness...that its temporary
--for a great slam last night, enjoyed just watching it all unfold..and seeing 13 represent!!
--for a great feature, and finding out we have the EXACT same birthday...but im older of course
--for the Killeen crew...love 'em
--for retrieving buried treasure from the trash
--for the fabulous women in my life, and the new ones coming in
--for this skin i'm in...fits me well
--for girl talk across tables
--for 3 different dates in the coming week...wow...ok!
--for unexpected surprises
--for knowing you are ok, at least on that road...good to know
--for the excitement and pleasure of a lil shopping spree
--for featuring with my extended family in SA...always good
--for gut laughter until the tears come
--for being a lil help to get the writing juices flowing...you always help me too
--for my dad getting a part in a commercial...he was so excited
--for new creativity and new passions
--for forgiveness
--for introspection and growth
--for you and your new lady, hate i missed the proposal..but ecstatic for you and your happiness
--for new possibilities