Beautiful Wednesdays...

--for Creator & She and all that their grace and love sustain
--for new eyes
--for all those beautiful faces above
--for being able to handle it all...always wanted a big family...lol
--for being able to calm his fighting spirit...he is realizing there is nothing to prove here, no reason to fight...i pray some of it goes deeper into his spirit, and takes it home with him
--for always feeling closer to the ones others ignore or no longer believe in
--for his and his eyes when i talk to them and really listen...if we all could just take the time
--for prayer
--for a house full of laughter
--for my babygirl's eyes
--for one helluva slam team once again! Ya'll AIN'T ready!!
--for getting over hurdles and being from the finish line (inside team joke)
--for being still
--for the quietness of 4am, soft drizzles, and inspiration

today i dared myself to sit on my patio as the storm brewed, and the rain fell. i am usually a chicken when it comes to lightening and thunder, but as i let myself relax and simply enjoy the art around me...it was quite electric and meditative.
something spiritual about reading Writing Down The Bones in a thunderstorm.

There Is Always A Reason...

--for the Creator & Gaia..always sustaining, always blessing
--for these beautiful 9 reasons above
--for my laid back personality, must have with these days lol
--for seeing things new through their eyes
--for joy
--for missing you terribly, but everything for a reason
--for not understanding why, but understanding it was a passionate season for us all
--for new possibilities
--for great photo shoots
--for her saying i have a peaceful spirit, often we do not see/feel what others see
--for love
--for family
--for seeing you...you are an amazing strong woman babygirl, and i will keep saying it until you get it...

I Will Miss You...

Thank God...Always

--for God & She
--for family
--for the way his arms hold me when i come home...the safest place to be
--for love
--for doing the right thing
--for believing
--for time away
--for friendly faces
--for meeting new sistahs and hanging out having a good time
--for the laughter of women
--for hanging on when i want to let go
--for inner strength
--for jono...and his mom
--for music that fits the mood

PaaaaLease!!!

couldn't help laughing when i saw this adorable pix...if feel ya girl lol!

Wednesday Again, But I Feel It Everyday...

--for Grace, and the power He & She bring to my life
--for seeing my continued growth, despite setbacks
--for the beauty of women, despite the pain
--for the team's first road trip...we are bonding...we are stronger
--for poppa B being proud of his babies lol
--for Fey taking first place and Liz taking 3rd
--for seeing and hugging old familiar faces
--for beefy T
--for his love
--for praying for peace in my house...and receiving the blessings
--for being the calm one
--for her hopfully listening, being a teenager is so hard i know baby.
--for poetry...and the lifelines it wraps around me tight
--for being more free w/ who it is am...and i'm loving it
--for late evening moon watching
--for life...is good...is good
--for silly moments we can all laugh at
--for her seeing that this is her family, loving her despite herself, and the daggers she throws our way.
--for knowing its misdirected anger...but i'm mom, i can handle it

the common thread of women

i originally wrote this a year ago...again reposting...felt it was needed...

the storm is coming
but its okay
i will be your shelter
don't hide behind the clouds
instead break thru
claim back your sky
let the rain fall
i will hold the umbrella
and even if u get wet
let the layers melt away
let the pieces fall
upon fertile ground
pain being the seeds
from which u will grow
so strong
stretch your SELF high
within the winds of change
breezes of possibilities
keep stretching
until u think u can't anymore
then stretch again
past imaginary boundaries
a lil more
and claim back your sky

Mountain! Get Out Of My Way!

Its been awhile, but...i am in a really good place right now. yes there are still issues, but no crazy drama...and i think a lot of that has to do with putting certain people out of my life or at least at bay. my view was blurred by false promises, but hey its life and it happens...no regrets...just teaching moments, right.?!
let folks think what they will about me. i know the truth.
i am very comfortable in my skin, despite the extra fluffiness put on in the past year and a half. i am still beautiful. still crazy. still me. the # on the scale does not dictate how i live my life anymore. if i choose to lose anything, it will be my choice, not 'cause OMG i gotta fit in a size ___! OMG i've got to purge this out of me (hey been there done that...got the tshirt)OMG i can't eat that! OMG i hate myself...nah none of that anymore or any other negative self talk. yeah it still comes up, but best believe when the voices start...i punch them in the mouth and shut their asses up!!
my family is well, my kids are great, well 2 of them moreso than the 3rd. i pray for my Jessica often, and as much as i wish things were different...i can't live her life for her, just be there for her when it gets too tough.
my man is great, yes we still have issues...who doesn't, but i know at the end of the day no matter what, he's got my back, and i am his soft place to fall...though most days he is the one who has softened my stumbles.
no, i don't know what tomorrow holds...nor the next moment, yet the stronghold i have on me...well hey, this girl going to be just fine.
All things through the Creator and She