Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Fuck You for Saying Snap Out Of It!!

it seems the dark days are returning, yet i don't know why at this time it has chosen to seep back in. like i said before, i believe it never really leaves us...we just learn to manage it better. or disguise it as something else. most days are better than others...but i feel it, and i am trying to push it back.
forgive me, because it is also showing up in the(my) writing...perhaps that is a good damn thang. so bare with me while i bare with myself..

he watches
as he always has
waiting
patiently
with soulless eyes
for her to give him hers
or at least another piece
for he has collected her
only in small doses
which he hides in a crystal box
made of salted tears
opens it daily
masterbating to her pain

acquired a taste for her
starting at an early age
dipped ragged nails into innocence
tasting the sweetness of youth
enjoyed the music of her cries
became the invisible playmate
for often she was left alone

he took her voice
placed it in the fragile box
knowing it would be her strength
but he could not allow her to be heard
soft spoken--if she even speaks at all

she learned early to exist in pain
for this was not living
found false hope in a child
never to leave her womb whole
sucked into brown sludge
as tiny fingers desperately
held onto the cord binding them
as they both were torn to pieces

he kept her close
to feed his hunger
and her drunken steps
kept him satisfied...........
(of course not finished, perhaps its best)

5 comments:

Raging Bull said...

The holidays are a tough time for many. A reminder of bad times, of obligations unmet, expectations unfulfilled. You have been one of my anchors as I write and try to purge the demons and I will be yours. As I told you, you are a friend and I will never let you fall. You can call on me anytime you need a boost of spirit.

Peace!!

Anonymous said...

uh...wrong thread...*closes window quickly and rushes out*

Shelle said...

-david, i don't think the holidays are the cause...i love this time of year. thank you for always haveing such kind words for me.

-angel...please explain your comment lol

Anonymous said...

ok, angel....you always got me on giggle girl!

love yourself through it shelle, although others will too... find the whatever-it-takes in you, it's there. take your own win... if no one gives you the victory...no one can take the victory from you.

i see you, you're winning

Anonymous said...

Babygirl, never apologize for writing..that is how you keep from stuffing it. It never goes away, but you can take away pieces. Stuffing it just means they come back later with force.

Keep writing. Keep writing. Keep writing.

Its all you ma, take you back.