ahhh the weekend

weather has been crap lately. wish it would make up its mind what it wants to do. this dreary constant drizzle has got to stop. cold one day. too warm the next. poor plants and trees just alllll confused.
Me and the fam went to see Madea's Family Reunion friday night. about 45minutes early and still a damn line out the door. i just laughed, guess some folks didn't expect this many out to see this movie. it didn't make any sense to have it showing on one screen anyway. like i said some folks.
if u haven't seen it yet....GO SEE IT!! it will have u laughing, crying, pissed off...and sometimes all at once.
the house was packed. some on cp time mad cause they had to sit right under the damn screen. we had perfect seats, whew. just the right row, and just right in the middle.
Tyler Perry is brilliant. and to think he almost took his life in his darkest moment. also was homeless for a minute. ya never know what life will bring if u just have a lil faith....and believe. i love how he incorporates all the lil stories within the big one.
Please go see it...u won't be disappointed.
Got up early Saturday morning, after dreaming all night i was late, to participate in a mini slam at Travis High School. It was myself, Eboni, Susie, and Shannon Lee. We were just as diverse as our young (5th grade-12grade)Girlscouts. With a brief intro of what a slam is, by Ron Horne, one by one we hit the mic. yeah we went over our 3minutes, but we really wanted the girls to hear what we had to say..but hey no penalties here, so no worries.
the girls were wonderful, hung on our every word...whooping and hollering when we were through, even had a dog pound going on the side....great for the ego. You could just see it in their eyes. sometimes its great to JUST BE A GIRL, and this day we made it okay to be one, gave 'em a lil power back. permission to fly for a few minutes. i hope we inspired someone, even if just one, to write...and if so, then we did our job.
Saturday evening, hung out with parents (hey, they r cool sometimes) at Main Event. well hung out at the bar, where my cutie of a brother, is a bartender. YES!! CAN U SAY ALL THE FREE DRINKS ONE COULD ASK FOR??
Sunday lived up to its name...what an absolutely beautiful day!! Weather was perrrrrfect. Spent the day out in the sun watching live racing in Manor...well of course i bet on a few. my daughter even picked some winners!! got to be careful, gambling is in the blood LOL!! We had a blast though. wrapped up the evening playing board games...how i have missed this...feels good.
Life is so full of ups and downs, twists and turns....buckle up and enjoy the fantastic ride!!
until next time...

Sirius Radio: Everyone Should Have One

We had a show last Tuesday in Houston. Had a blast, amazing poets to say the least. Funky Mike would of had the best night if the girls had left their panties! Cousin Sarah, well lets just say the chile can hold her own. her growth has been amazing. okay so the show was hot, but the ride back was even better. i am not sure how the boys faired, but the ladies of neo rocked it, or should i say hip hopped it all the way back to Austin. we laughed, danced, sang, and acted a plum fool with this backspin old school hiphop station. i'm sure every car passing was like OMG!! they must be drunk. Yep we were....not on alcohol, but drunk on the memory of good damn music. not this imitation bullshit on the radio today. Erica even took us back to skating days...ya'll youngins don't know nothing 'bout it!!
Sarah was having a fit, threatening to steal the van when we got back into town...she was serious...not for the van...but for the sirius radio no doubt!!
Foressa taped a lot of it for blackmailing purposes. shoot i don't care, that much fun sober should be illegal!
We pulled in beside the guys at a gas station, for late night snacks and a pee stop, of course. we roll down the windows, jump out the van singing and dancing.
the guys get out all stiff, down in the face...just looking tired. then they look at us like 'damn we should of rode with them'....!!! yep sho should of....
but then again it wouldn't of been as fun. sorry fellas.
waiting for the next road trip...forget checking for a dvd player...give me a sirius radio anytime
...along with Ms foressa, Mama June, Cousin Sarah, and Erica anytime!!

Thru The Storm

i believe everything, and i mean everything happens for a reason. there is a lesson in it all, and if u don't get it this time...it will continue to return. same story, different faces.
i fell apart on stage wednesday, literally. though a painful piece to write, my breakdown had nothing to do with the words. well, so i thought, until i read the words 'i wish'. and i do wish it was all different.
eventhough i had a mental breakdown, damn, in front of so many; early morning hours brought a mental breakthrough.
i realize i am in mourning in many ways. hard to let go of baggage u have carried around so long. hard to let go of people who help carry the baggage with u. sometimes sitting on it, so you must carry both.
time to put it down
time to leave you behind
i am far from getting through my own mess...but at least i am on the path through it, trying to keep moving.
looking in the mirror....wow a tough one, i dare anyone else to do it.
i mean really look at yourself and be honest.
and talk honestly...
...without being defensive, without accusations.

The Poison of Women

forgive me 'cause i'm pissed, but still needing to say something
if u get offended...i don't give a fuck!!

did u think we were kindred spirits?
think again
don't compare mine to yours just because u were the one who got fucked!
what wicked webs we weave...
you hug on me, kiss on me
leaving behind poison on my cheeks
and uneasiness in my soul
so quick to turn corners and whispers behind doors
showed me your true self, and u wondered why i was so quick to leave
would rather been in the streets than one more day in the hell u paint
what wicked webs we weave...
i see your kind often
trying to fit in to be in
disguised as a friend
but your knife still drips of others backs
the stench of u
worse than the morgue
cause u keep coming back
what wicked webs we weave...
think your whispers go unnoticed?
but i hear u loud and clear
even in a room full of words
words pecking at me like jealous hens
pecking away at my shell
not realizing desi always got my back
so BACK THE FUCK OFF!!

this is not about just one, but a few i know. to those who choose to whisper, make a fucking mental note to be in another zip code around me. I have amazing hearing. Old saying goes: keep your friends close, but your enemies even closer.
damn that felt freeing...
who got next?

A Journey Within The Journey...among many

so its been a month...lol
i find it interesting i do not crave it anymore. truthfully it was the "touch" i was craving, yet they never took the time to touch me. realizing this has opened my eyes to so much more, creating new realities in my life.i have enjoyed this sexual freedom i have had lately. enjoyed the fact i finally had some control...but, always a but...i now want more in my life, getting bored with casual and not being satisfied...literally and figuratively. i know i have much work to do on this being of me and her, but i am more willing now than ever. i feel it is time. preparing myself for ....hmmm i don't know. excited though...cause its something. there's this feeling, growing deep inside of me, an energy i cannot explain...just waiting to spill forth. also preparing myself for the one i will meet headon...looking for me. no more relationships of resentment and anger, unhealthy or soul stealing. these things i must forgive myself for, exercise out of me, inorder to be healthy for whoever. instead of my full line of baggage...too heavy to carry at times, full of holes and overstuffed, shit falling out all over the place...i can just bring something small enough to carry in my backpocket.
Ceelo says "i always keep me some pain"...and that too is okay. just when the the old stuff appears, oh and it will...like rejects from Goodwill!! want to realize what it is, deal with it, move on.
to move on....to move on