Things I Have Learned Lately...

--i am really ok

--that once again my filter is gone to crap...just don't have time for folks and their insecurities, fakeness, stupidity, lack of warmth...you get the point

--that my voice is stronger because of this (above). i recently voiced something to my father that had been a painful area in my life since i was in high school, although i did not get much acknowledgement or an apology from him...the look in his eyes and me releasing this...well...was quite enough...whew

--that i can be friends with opposing sides without taking sides...and others well i smile and stay in my corner...though that one took a lil longer, 'cause someone i love deeply was/is involved...hey we all got our stuff...no more judgements here

--relationships, no matter how good, tend to ebb and flow...doesn't mean anything is wrong (though sometimes there can be issues), or the love is less or not present...just means that particular day is doing its own thing...no worries

--i like being alone sometimes, and doing my own thing

--being a mother, no matter the kids age, is still tough, heartbreaking, and misguided at times...but oh so rewarding and worth it, every bit of it.

--i am not your average mother, and my kids LOVE me for this...they told me lol

--this is the first time in ANY of my love relationships, i haven't had to worry about the "other" coming in...nor the lies that follow...do you know how friggin' freeing that is? i can love without worries again...thank you baby

--i still am haunted by you...but i am stronger now, fleeting thoughts

--i really don't like when folks cross me...and i am a bit warped lol...snicker but i like it

New Year Now...

--for the Creator, She, and Grace...where would i be without any of you
--for this life, and how i help create it
--for this woman of mine...wow...you are friggin' amazing
--for the words of me'shelle and the floacist...the voice, the words, the rhythm
--for the Kitchen Goddess within...makes tummies happy
--for my girl turning 40, welcome...life will be sweeter
--for this home we are transforming...love spoken here...saged blessings
--for my pen moving again...for my strong muse
--for cooler weather kissing these cheeks
--for my kids laughter filling their new home...they are a magnificent bunch
--for letting go and hanging on
--for thelma and louise...be careful not to cross lol
--for powerful energies...good and bad, and to know/feel the difference
--for true love residing in our hearts, oh how we have waited...this story has been written a long time ago...thank you for being my co-writer
--for early morning being still within my window
--for great coffee pots
--for knowing i am safe on solid ground
--for every morning i wake up, the first thing i see is you...first words i say are "thank you"
--for tay's 17th b'day...no no no...sigh...she is a great kid, even if mom can't handle the reality...tear
--for old photos and good memories in that moment...i will go with that
--for fingers in hair
--for seeing you again...even if you didn't see me
--for your days getting a bit better during these tough times
--for neosoul...feels like home again, feels new and exciting too

Catch Up Time....

yes i know its been a minute...a long minute blog world, but i am back. I apologize for my focus being elsewhere, not that i am apologizing for what my focus has been on, but the fact i have neglected this blog. Sooo, when i start getting protests for not updating...i know its time to get on it lol...love you lisa.
bare with me for a sec, as i will try to catch everyone, and myself, up on what has been going on in shelle's world...i am going to cheat a bit and make them separate posts, please see below for backtracking.
Life is beautiful...seriously...i just cannot stop smiling...and it shows.

Joy

--for the Universe which contains and blesses me
--for prayer...goes a long way
--for the most sweetest, amazing, wonderful, beautiful, electrifying, honest, blessed, honorable, crazy, intense, harmonious, i could keep going you know...love affair i have ever experienced...this lifetime
--for this lifetime. so good, had to repeat it
--for patience with self...she shows and teaches me even to do that
--for the growth and love that has deeply bloomed between me and my oldest
--for my awesome kids, each so different...all so friggin' great
--for truth, no matter how much it hurts, but its allowed me to let go and heal just a bit more
--for delete buttons..on facebook, on myspace, on computers, on cell phones, on life
--for moonlit nights, deep cool waters, and the perfect words asked...
--for the words "yes"
--for new beginnings with you on so many levels, sometimes i feel like my life has just started
--for bed talks with the kids, i will never give those up...and i pray they will not want to either
--for lanky arms that hug me everyday...a mother and her son...bond is something else
--for meeting the lil ones who are so important to her, and they wanting me to stay
--for new moves, new apartment, new car...taking care of business indeed
--for the people in my life who teach me about me, good, bad or indifferent...i learn
--for the enthusiasm and electric spirit of shella @ h.e.b. plus...she is my soulmate i swear lol
--for a lazy saturday afternoon with no agenda, but to be...just be
--for creativity raining on me
--for my love ring, wrapped so warmly around my life
--for much introspection, understanding, trusting, and loving self...whew its a lot
--for my brother soon taking one of the greatest journeys ever, trekking through south america for almost 2 months...start your prayers now please
--for those on board with what's going on in my life...thank you...and even for those who are not...take notes
--for times that felt like old times girl...we gonna be ok